We already talked about what is self-esteem, how it affects relationships as a couple and other aspects of day-to-day life. Now it’s time to review how to take care of yourself and how to raise your self-esteem. Apply those actions that allow you to revalue and rediscover the qualities that make you a unique human being. Psychologist Varna offers these 3 tips to start the process of falling in love with yourself.
How to take care of yourself and how to raise your self-esteem?? 3 tips to start the process
“The first step is to realize that you need a change, it is not possible to raise your self-esteem without accepting the problem first. Once assimilated, what you should do is consider if you are willing to change yourself and if you think you can do it differently, “says Varna.
Having this clear, the steps are the following:
1. Oppose the inner critic
Low self-esteem has part of its origins in the conception you have of yourself. This opinion about you tends to be very critical and negative, so Varna says that “the first step to raise your self-esteem is to begin to challenge the negative messages of your inner critic”. Here are some typical examples of internal criticism and some strategies to refute that critical voice.
- Unfairly harsh internal criticism: “People said they liked my presentation, but it was not as good as it should have been. I cannot believe that nobody has noticed all the mistakes I made.”
What you should do is recognize your strengths: “Wow, they really liked it! Maybe it was not perfect, but I worked hard on that presentation and did a good job.
- An inner voice that generalizes in an unrealistic way: “I took 6 in the evaluation. I do not understand anything about the project. I’m so useless. To whom I lie? I should not be in this position. “
What you should do is be specific: “I did badly in this test, but I did well in other areas. There are some things here that I do not understand as well as I thought, but now I have a better idea of how to prepare and what I need to work on. “
- An internal critic who makes illogical leaps: “He’s frowning. He did not say anything, but I know it means he did not like it. “(Surely more than one has passed this detail)
What you should do is an illogical challenge: “Okay, frowns, but I do not know why. It could have nothing to do with me. Maybe I should ask. “
- An inner voice that thinks in catastrophe: “This person rejected me for an appointment! I am so embarrassed and humiliated. No one likes me or nobody cares about me. I will never find a partner. “
Be objective on how to take care of yourself: “Yes, rejection hurts, this person does not want to go out with me, but that does not mean that nobody else does. I know I’m a good person and I’m sure that eventually, I’ll find someone who is as interested in me as I am in him/her.”
2. Practice self-pity if you want to learn how to raise your self-esteem
Varna continues by pointing out that “rebutting your critical inner voice is an important first step, but it is not enough. Practicing self-pity means treating yourself with the same empathy you would show to others. “This means that all the care and attention you would give to a friend when facing a difficult problem or situation is what you should give to yourself. Listening to you, understanding how to take care of yourself and being supportive with yourself will help you regain your trust in you.
- Forgive yourself when you do not do everything you expected: “Try to be nice to yourself instead of criticizing yourself when things do not go as you expected.” Varna points out. Maybe you got used to self-reproach, but it’s all a matter of going step by step and recognizing that there are inevitable situations and that failing once is not failing for life.
- Recognize your humanity: As humans, we all make mistakes and we are all affected by external factors that we cannot control. Varna comments that “accepting our” humanity “helps us to feel more connected with others instead of feeling that we are enduring this kind of experiences completely alone. Recognizing that mistakes are an inevitable part of being human helps us to be more compassionate to ourselves and others.”
- Keep in mind your emotions: This means that you should not keep anything inside when you get angry. When you feel sad or happy… just express it and live it in a balanced way. Aware of what you feel and why. What you feel, but not impulsively. The specialist adds that “you must try not to judge yourself by having negative emotions. If you can remember that emotions come and go and eventually happen, it will help you not to feel overwhelmed by your feelings. “
3. How to take care of yourself: Get help from others
Many times it is sad to admit that we have a problem with notaries themselves and those close to them, but supporting yourself in a social and intimate circle that you appreciate can help in the process of raising your self-esteem.
Varna shares these ways of reaching out to others and receiving that support that can make a difference.
- You can talk to your friends for support: “Ask your friends to tell you what they like about you or what they think you do well. Ask someone who cares about you to listen to you for a while without trying to fix things. You may ask for a hug. Ask someone who loves you to remind you why he does it. “The specialist comments. There is nothing wrong with asking for what we need. That’s the best way to do if you learn how to raise your self-esteem.
- Talk to a therapist or counselor: Sometimes, face low self-esteem and the problems it can cause, it may be more difficult than you thought, so if after trying the above points do not feel a change or advance, it is best to seek help from a professional.
Raising your self-esteem can change your life
Following these tips, you will surely notice a change within you and inevitably project it to the outside. By loving you, by trusting you, people will begin to see you for who you are and most importantly to value you as much as you do. You need to know how to take care of yourself.
Also, learn how to raise your self-esteem and it will change your life. Follow these tips and if necessary, go with a psychologist. You deserve everything you want, just need to believe it.